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Woman accuses partner of cheating but friend says she’s ‘reaping what she sowed’

A woman has accused her partner of cheating but her friends say she’s ‘reaping what she sowed’ by asking for an open relationship.

The woman, named Bella, suggested the idea to her husband, Mike, who was initially not interested but eventually agreed to save the relationship – and for a while everything was fine.

Due to the lockdown, there was a delayed start to their polyamorous relationship – but when things opened up Mike didn’t waste any time and soon had a date lined up.

But Bella didn’t and was devastated that Mike had actually gone ahead and secured a date, but when she called her friends for sympathy they said she had got what she deserved.

Sharing the story anonymously, one of her friends said: “The timing was off, obviously, but she had thought about it a lot and she said it was the only way for her relationship with Mike to survive because she loved him dearly but felt unfulfilled.

“Mike hesitantly agreed because he didn’t want to lose her. When I asked him about it, he seemed very much not thrilled about the whole thing.

“During quarantine, the two of them became even closer than they had ever been before and I think Mike didn’t expect Bella to actually go through with the open relationship idea she had proposed.

“But around three months ago, she brought it back up and then settled on some rules together.”

The friend said that the next thing she heard was when Bella called up crying, saying that Mike had cheated on her.

She continued: “She tells me she tried calling Mike all day but he said he had a ‘date’ and hasn’t come home yet. I asked her ‘but wasn’t that sort of okay between you two?’

“She sobbingly tells me that yes, that was sort of the deal but that she hadn’t been able to go on a single date with a guy yet because she was so busy with work being back on now and that Mike just went ahead with his date as if she meant nothing.

“He hadn’t disclosed any details to her, which as far as I know was part of their deal – that they didn’t want to know any details, and that she felt like he was ridiculing her.

“I didn’t really know what to say and just told her, ‘well, honey, I think you just reaped what you sowed, honestly’.

“She’s furious with me and screamed at me for being an awful friend to her, that I should understand how she feels. I kept quiet but honestly, I think she’s just upset that her husband is doing what she proposed in the first place.”

After sharing the story online, other Reddit users were quick to comment on the post and said that the woman did nothing wrong – adding that Bella had created the whole situation.

One user said: “People always seem to be down for open relationships until they remember their partner can have an open relationship too.”

While a second added: “She didn’t expect him to actually sleep with other people. She just wanted to sleep with others without it being considered cheating. She’s really ridiculous and I’m on Mike’s side for this one.

“She wanted an open relationship, so that’s what she got.”

And a third wrote: “Be careful what you ask for. You might well get it. Your friend felt unfulfilled and wanted someone to meet her needs. She never considered that in an open marriage, both spouses are free to go elsewhere.

“She said, ‘he cheated’ but he did no such thing. It isn’t cheating in an open marriage. Your friend’s reality check just bounced.”